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Music is eternal.”“Pythagoras and his ‘Music of the Spheres’,” I said.“What’s that?” Abbie asked.“He’s the one who discovered that the pitch of a musical note had a mathematical relationship to the length of the string on the instrument, and that harmony is based on numerical ratios between notes. He proposed that the entire universe had its own resonant frequencies. He called it the Harmony of the Spheres and that the quality of our life here depended on those inaudible resonances. Plato later put astronomy and music together as, basically, mathematics for the eyes and ears, respectively.”“I never knew that,” she said. “I suppose I need to make a trip to the library.”“It gets deeper, really, and I guess maybe I see where you’re coming from. There was a Greek philosopher named Aristoxenus who said that music was used to purify our souls just like medicine was used to cure our body of illness.”“Yes! That’s exactly it! What was his name again?”“Aristoxenus. He was a pupil of Aristotle,. So he sought out his father. Dad was in the garage.“Dad,” Craig said, “the guys at school are using words I don’t understand.”“What words, son?” “Pussy and bitch. I asked Mom, but I don’t think she told me the right meanings.”“Son, never ask your mother about these things. Ask me. Let me explain what they mean for you.” He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centrefold and drew a circle around the pubic area.“Everything inside the circle is pussy,” he said.“Okay, Dad. Then what’s a bitch?”“Everything outside the circle.”Private LessonsA husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!”“Well, what should I do?” asks the man.“Hold the club gently,” the pro replied, “just like you’d hold your wife’s breast.”The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the.
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